Chaos broke out at the Northside Dog Park yesterday when a group of squirrels allegedly formed a union and began negotiating for “tree access equity.” Witnesses claim the squirrels had tiny picket signs and were chanting in unison. Local wildlife experts say it’s probably just a coincidence, but dog owners aren’t so sure. “They had a rhythm,” said Frank Mendoza, “and they looked organized.”

Residents of the quiet town of Maple Hollow were baffled this week when dozens of toasters began spontaneously emitting jazz music instead of toasting bread. “I just wanted a bagel,” said local teacher Carla Jennings, “but instead I got Miles Davis at full volume.” Engineers are investigating, though one anonymous source suspects the toasters may have accidentally been synced with an experimental Spotify AI. Authorities urge the public to unplug appliances that start improvising.

In a bold move to modernize city infrastructure, the Department of Transportation has announced a pilot program that replaces potholes with “surprise trampolines.” Officials say the spring-loaded panels are meant to make driving more exciting and improve morale. “It’s bouncy, but effective,” said one test driver, mid-air. Public reaction is mixed, though children are reportedly thrilled.